Photos/FILE Men decide on sight whether you are wife material, chips funga, a platonic friend, or an authority figure they would like to work for. Consider your dressing style and discover what imagine you portray by the way you dress.
Clothes are a very powerful form of body language. At a glance, it is possible to be judged or even misjudged on the simple basis of how tight your trouser fit is.
Men are visual creatures, a common statement, but true. They check out women in detail, all the while forming their opinions.
As far as they are concerned, the more flesh you reveal, the more ‘available’ you are. To a man, how you present yourself says a lot more than what you actually speak out.
It only takes a man five seconds to decide what kind of woman you are, and whether you are his kind of woman or not.
Most men have a blueprint of their ideal woman in their minds even before they have met you.
According to psychologists, this is probably established before the teens and is based on an important woman in his childhood – his mother or sister.
It only takes a few seconds for him to decide whether you fit his ideal or not and how you dress the first time he sees you plays a big role in this decision.
Many women today have diverse lives usually juggling a career and family. Finding a balance imagewise means adopting a professional style with a little bit of casual dressing for weekends and family days thrown in.
Our images are shaped by the media, our own self-consciousness and by the men around us. It pays to establish a look that you are comfortable with, and which expresses the person you really are, according to yourself.
A self-assessment with an image consultant is of great help in this aspect. Many experts are of the view that a woman’s destiny is partly linked to her image and clothing choices.
To help you better understand the impact your image has, the Satmag team dressed up one woman in several different ways, thereby giving her a number of different personalities.
The woman in question is 27-year-old Milka Wambui, of Milimani Classic Salon, in Nairobi. We set her out in town to gauge the reaction of the men around her, and these were the responses, according to what she was wearing:
Office suit:
This style makes her look like a career-minded woman who is very self-assured. She looks like she would make a good boss, considering the fact that she has not expressed her sexuality through her clothes.
She seems interested in looking professional and intelligent, and at first glance, most men would be slightly scared of approaching her for a date.
Her clothes make her look like the type who is serious about her career, and would probably have little or no time for a love life.
She seems as though she heads straight for evening classes in a bid to improve on her education.
Most men thought she was the type who would only consider settling down after becoming well-established in her career at a level above manager.
She also looks like a go-getter at work – the ones who know what they want and go for it relentlessly
Hot pants and boots:
This look caused quite a stir, wolf-whistles and all. Most men said that a woman dressed like this would want people to focus on her body and not her mind.
Most did not see her as career-oriented, and thought she looked like the type who work to get money so that they can party all weekend.
They thought she must be confident to carry off those hot pants and boots, a look they thought is very daring unless one is on the beach, of course without the boots!
They made passes at her, with many heads turning to get a second glance. The men concurred that they would only approach a woman dressed like that if it was in the evening at a club and all they wanted was some fun.
Most concurred that this is not the woman they would take home to their mother.
Kitenge:
Most of the men interviewed thought this is the style that brought out the wife and homemaker image in Milka.
They said she looked respectable and humble. The interesting point to note is that they thought she would be unapproachable to flirt with.
They believe that if you decide to speak to a woman dressed this way, you had better be serious with her.
To them, this woman could be anyone in your life …. Your mum, aunt or sister. This just shows that the typical African man is still conservative and traditional.
Spaghetti straps:
This one had the men in awe. One of them was quoted as saying “She is way out of my league. She is such a classy dresser; I do not think she would look twice at an ordinary guy like me.”
From most of the reactions she received, we came to the conclusion that sometimes how a woman dresses can be intimidating to some men.
They find certain dress styles too high maintenance. These women probably why no man notices how well dressed they are.
The truth is that most appear not to notice, but they do, but are too scared to approach.
Jeans:
Jeans are the most commonly worn trousers by Nairobi women along with black trousers.
Most men we spoke to commented that some of the jeans are so tight, that it hardly leaves anything to the imagination.
Some of them are worn low-flung, while others are often in bad taste. The fact is that not all women have the body shape for jeans.
If you are curvy, opt for well-tailored trousers and bias cut skirts. Most men complained that most of the time. It seems as if women throw on jeans when they cannot be bothered to dress with care.
One man stated, “No self-respecting woman in our neighbouring countries would wear jeans with the kind of abandon they are worn in Kenya.”
He even suggested that if it were possible, men should revolt against women wearing jeans. Most off putting are the obviously dirty recycled jeans favoured by young women.
Overall, the fact that men do not like women in jeans came out quite clearly, with many calling for Kenyan women to learn to wear skirts and dresses.
It’s all down to culture
When a Kenyan African woman decides to wear shorts to a public place which is not one of those posh shopping malls, she often causes a stir, especially among the men.
Some will even o as far as calling for her stripping. It is not unusual to find groups of men following her and laughing in derision.
At the end of it all, the woman is usually a nervous wreck, unless she has a thick hide. Yet the scenario is often entirely different when a white woman dresses the same way.
No one bothers with her. It is almost as though she was invisible! Could it be the cultural differences that cause this disparity in reactions, or is it the victimisation of African women?
One black Kenyan women, upon her return from the US where she had lived for close to 10 years happened to be walking in town with a white friend.
Both were wearing shorts and sleeveless T-shirts. Everywhere they went, people offered opinions on her dress code.
She was lectured by old and young men alike, while her friend was completely ignored.
What the experts say:
Jane Odewale, director of Extra Edge Image consultancy stresses that a woman should be extremely particular about the image she presents to the world if she wants to be taken seriously.
In our cultural set up, when a woman reveals any part of her body, it is taken to mean that she is promiscuous. That is why it is always such a big deal when women wear outfits that expose their midriff.
When a man is assessing a woman’s suitability for marriage, the main thing he will look at is how she will fit into his family’s background.
He also tries to imagine how she will hold up as the mother of his children. When a woman goes to meet her potential in-laws for the first time, she needs to pay special attention to every detail of her appearance.
Some women have lost out by simply having long, brightly polished nails or exposed cleavage. A potential wife should look sober and steady, not frivolous, Jane adds.
An interesting observation that Odewale noted was that men expect women to start dressing differently immediately they get married.
It is very common to find a woman dressed in jeans, leggings, spaghetti tops and the like when she is part of a dating couple.
However, when she says ‘I do’, her husband will immediately insist on a more serious dress code. Many women claim it is unfair, because men are not expected to change their image in any way.
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